Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
