now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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