I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
