I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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