my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
