I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is it because I queefed?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
