so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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