oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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