oh god the rape fog is back!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
