Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
