I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
