How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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