I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am available for nakedness
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
