You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
