Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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