she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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