honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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