woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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