My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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