How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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