So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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