am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
