Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
