a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
