it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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