I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
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