Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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