I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
