His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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