I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
