i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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