WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
