I wish I could punch you in the face.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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