I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
