It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
