Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
