Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My vagina just clenched in fear
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
