There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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