Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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