It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
