Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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