I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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