Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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