I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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