I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
