I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
