Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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