you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He felt like a one man threesome
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
