i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My liver just had a heart attack.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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