I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
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