Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
