I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
