i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
