If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
